


Red

by professionalmomfriend (mothmanwashere)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Sadstuck, Soulmates, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 11:31:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5125886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothmanwashere/pseuds/professionalmomfriend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where people see in black and white until the first time they make contact with their soulmate.</p><p>The theory is that it reverts back to monochrome once one of them dies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red

**Author's Note:**

> This is very sad. Be ye warned.

The world was black and white, and Karkat Vantas had never known it any other way.

The special few who had seen the world in color were those who had met their soulmate.  It was not as common a phenomenon as some might imagine.  Not everyone found their soulmate in their lifetime.  Those who did were considered fortunate, and considered themselves unworthy of the privilege. 

Karkat knew somewhere deep down that there was a soulmate out there waiting for him.  He had dreamed for ages of what it would be like when he finally met them.  He’d imagined a burst – a spark igniting into a burning flame, which would peel back the monochrome from his world and release the color into his life.  He’d heard a number of accounts – done research on the topic, watched more movies than he could count, and read any number of books, all with a different perspective.  A dramatic flip; a slow bloom; even spotty, when objects went one by one into color at random after the first time someone made contact with their soulmate.  Everyone seemed to have a different experience, though the soulmates always said it was the same for both of them. 

“You know, Kanaya.  What was it for you?”

Kanaya was quiet for so long that Karkat wasn’t sure if she was simply ignoring him, but finally she said, “It was sudden.  All at once, the world was entirely different.  It was very overwhelming, but the way her eyes lit up when the same thing happened to her vision steadied me.”

“Rose too?”

Kanaya nodded, her lips curving upwards at the mention of her soulmate.  “Rose too.”

* * *

 

Karkat had been expecting his soul mate for so long, expecting them to come along at any moment.  Karkat had long been preparing himself for anything – a bump against a stranger, a brush of hands while exchanging mail, a handshake in greeting.  He was not prepared for a pair of sunglasses to be dropped on his head as he walked through the mall.

“Ow!”  Karkat looked around to figure out what had hit him.  A pair of aviators, one lens shattered, lay a few feet away from him, having skittered away after bouncing off his head.  He looked up and saw nothing.  “What the fuck?”

“I am so so so sorry,” Karkat heard, and looked behind him to see a young man racing down from the stairs.  “I was just looking over the railing and they fell. Shit, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Karkat said, not sure how else to respond.  He picked up the shattered sunglasses.  “Your glasses, not so much.”

The man chuckled and took them from Karkat.  Their fingers brushed.  “Guess I’ll have to explain that one to the guy who bought them for me.  Sorry again,” he said, and looked up at Karkat.  Karkat’s jaw dropped when he saw red in the man’s eyes.  He’d never seen the color before, but he knew it had to be.  Nothing else could possibly be red.

Karkat wasn’t certain what it was that gave it away for the other guy, but he whispered “holy fuck” so quietly and reverently that Karkat knew he wasn’t just daydreaming.  He extended cautious, hesitant fingers to brush the design on Karkat’s sweatshirt.  “So that’s what red looks like.”

He quickly looked back up, scanning Karkat’s eyes for signs that he’d seen the same thing.  Karkat nodded ever so slightly and the other man breathed out a laugh.  “Jesus.  Do you wanna grab some coffee or something?”

“Yeah,” Karkat said, wondering where all the breath in his lungs had gone.  “Yeah, I’d like that.”

* * *

 

His name was Dave Strider, and while he was not what Karkat had expected, he was one hundred percent, without a doubt, the best thing that had ever happened to him.  Dave was sarcastic and witty and lame as hell, and Karkat fell so fast and so hard for that dorky smile and smooth voice.  Karkat learned that Dave hadn’t had a great childhood.  He had trouble being serious and opening up his emotions to people.  He was self-conscious and anxious and a wreck beneath everything he tried to disguise with irony and sarcastic comments.  He was the furthest thing from perfect, and that was what made him perfect for Karkat, who knew what it was like to be told not to be who he was, and who knew how easy it was to blame everything on himself and take far more than his share of the responsibility for things going wrong.

After just a few weeks with Dave, Karkat understood what Kanaya meant when she said the world was prettier in color.  He would amend the statement, though… The world was more beautiful with a soulmate to share it with you.

“Ten minutes into Netflix and chill and he still ain’t in your bed.”

“Dave.”

“Karkat.”

“You’re the one who wanted popcorn,” Karkat reminded his impatient boyfriend.

“I changed my mind.  All I want is for you to get your bodacious ass over here, the movie’s gonna start.”

“There’s this thing called the pause button.”

“I broke it.  Hurry up.”

“You’re just going to talk over the whole thing anyway, douche.”

“Yes, but if you’re not here, then I’m rambling to myself.”

“When has being alone ever stopped you from rambling?”

“Babe, it’s starting!”

“Fuck!”

Karkat dashed back into the living room with a fresh bowl of popcorn and flung himself across the couch and Dave, holding the popcorn in the air above his head to minimize lost kernels. 

Dave grinned down at Karkat and took the popcorn from him.  “Welcome.”

“Why couldn’t you pause it?”

“I wanted you to come back faster.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“I’m your asshole.”

“Shut up, Asshole,” Karkat said, pushing himself into a sitting position and pulling Dave into a kiss.

* * *

 

Bliss wasn’t a word Karkat would have thought he’d ever use to describe his life, but it was an apt description.  He and Dave fell into a perfect bliss, and while they got on each other’s nerves, they never stayed mad.  There was little they truly, seriously disagreed on – nothing significant enough to cause more than occasional petty quarrel, such as the merits of Leonardo DiCaprio as an actor or whether butterscotch ice cream bars tasted better than cherry.

With Dave, Karkat was happy.  Happier than he’d ever imagined being.  He loved Dave with everything he had, and Dave loved him back.  Despite knowing they were soulmates since they met, they took their relationship slowly.  They learned how to see the world in color together, though red remained both of their favorites.  They learned about each other and how to trust each other.

“Are you sure?”

Karkat nodded, his nose pressed into Dave’s neck.  “I’m sure.  I’ve been sure for a while.”

Dave hugged Karkat tighter.  “God, I love you.”

Karkat pressed a firm kiss to Dave’s lips.  “I love you too.”

“Okay so.   We’re doing this.  Hell yeah.  Just… gonna do this.”

“We don’t have to.”

“I want to!  If you want to, I want to.”

“It doesn’t have to be tonight,” Karkat said.  “If we’re not ready, we have our whole lives ahead of us.”

Dave shook his head gently, peppering tiny kisses along Karkat’s jaw and down his neck.  “I’m ready.  I’ve just… never done this before.  I’m kind of out of my depth here.”

Karkat smiled just a tiny bit.  “Same here, dummy.  So let’s figure it out.”  He ran his hand down Dave’s arm until he reached Dave’s hand, and fitted their splayed fingers together.  “Together.”

“Together,” Dave agreed.

Yeah.  Bliss was the word.

* * *

 

With Dave, his world had exploded into color.  In two short years, he’d forgotten what black and white looked like.  Everything blended into a delirious cacophony of colors, and Karkat had no desire to go back.  His friends noticed the change, and knew it was for the better.  They liked Dave too.  He fit right in to Karkat’s little group of friends, and Dave’s friends embraced Karkat in return. 

Karkat still struggled.  He still automatically blamed himself for anything that went wrong in his life, and had to force himself to tell Dave.  Dave, likewise, still tended to bottle things up and not tell Karkat how he was doing until the dam broke loose and they both wound up crying on the couch at 3 in the morning.  They leaned on each other a lot.  They still weren’t sure if they were doing any of this right.  But they were getting there.  Together.

* * *

 

“Hey.”

“Mm.”

“You awake?”

“No.”

“Do you want to get married?”

“Dave, it is eight am on a Sunday.”

“Not like right now.  But do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Want to get married.”

Karkat cracked open one bleary eye to stare at his boyfriend of two years.  His soulmate.  The idiot who had stolen his heart and left “Dave was here” graffitied in its place, probably alongside a shitty artistic rendition of Hella Jeff flipping the bird while ollie-ing out on a skateboard.  “Of course I do.”

“Really?”

“You know I do,” Karkat said, snuggling in closer to Dave’s bare chest.  “You’re mine forever, asshole.”

Dave looped his arm around Karkat’s back and nuzzled his cheek into messy black hair.  “Good.”

* * *

 

It was a small affair, about a year later, once they’d discussed it during consciousness.  No fanfare, no fancy party.  Just Dave, Karkat, and a judge, with John, Rose, and Kanaya as their witnesses.  It was nothing to catch anyone’s attention, but it was beautiful.  They’d met three years ago, and they’d never wonder again what it was like not to know the other.  After they were married, nothing changed, except they referred to each other as “husband” instead of “boyfriend”. 

* * *

 

“I was thinking spaghetti for dinner.”

“Swagetti.”

“Don’t.”

“With memeballs?”

“Fuck off, Dave.”

“Love you, babe.”

* * *

 

It was domestic bliss at its finest.  Their single friends gagged, but it was only teasing.  Everyone could see how happy Dave and Karkat were together: the very picture of wedded soulmate bliss.  At the same time, they were still incredible dorks.  Karkat spent his every birthday forcing Dave to marathon his favorite romcoms, while Dave adlibbed his way through the dialogue, talking over the actual movie.  They dined almost exclusively off of china emblazoned with Gandalf the Grey’s face, which had been a gag “congrats on the sex” gift from Roxy after they’d moved in together, a little over a year into their relationship.  They threw a yearly Christmas party and required everyone to wear the tackiest sweater they could find, and if they wore the same sweater more than once, the offending guest was sentenced to do tequila shots.  They kept a special conical hat covered in pictures of Nicolas Cage that John was required to wear every time he mentioned said actor. 

They were nerds. 

Happy nerds.

Then. 

 

* * *

 

“Have a good day, babe.”

“You too.  Have fun with your sisters.  See you tonight.”

Karkat kissed his husband as they parted ways in the parking lot below their apartment building. Dave pulled out of the garage first, Karkat following moments after on his way to work.  It was a desk job, assistant to a magazine editor.  While Karkat was sure there was probably more enthralling work out there, he didn’t care.  It was comfortable and paid the bills and Karkat was content. 

It was after lunch, a lull in the day, when he noticed.  His stapler wasn’t supposed to be grey.

Karkat’s blood ran cold in his veins as he blinked a few times, hoping he was seeing something wrong.  The stapler remained adamantly monochrome, instead of its vibrant red.  His hands began to shake as he fumbled for his phone.  He scrolled down his contacts list until he found Dave’s name and pressed call.  It rang until it went to voicemail.  Karkat felt sick.

 _He’s fine, he’s fine,_ Karkat told himself.  _I just need to stop putting off the optometrist._  

He tried calling again.

“Karkat.”

His boss’s voice snapped him to attention.   Karkat looked up.

“Did you get that proposal on my desk?”

“Yes sir.  Three copies, collated and stapled.  They’re in your inbox.”

His boss nodded and walked away, and Karkat tried one more time to call Dave’s phone.  As soon as he hit End Call, it vibrated, signaling an incoming call, and he relaxed a little.  He answered it before the caller id showed up.  “Dave?”

“No, it’s me.”

The voice was similar but too pitched and formal.  “Rose.  What’s—”

“There was an accident.”

“No,” Karkat breathed, unable, unwilling to believe.  “No,” he said, a little stronger.  “Please.”

“I’d hurry if I were you.”

Karkat left everything at his desk and ran to the parking garage.  His hands shook too hard to get his key in the ignition, but somehow he managed.  He’d never imagined a ten block drive could feel like an eternity, yet he barely remembered making the drive.

When he finally made it, Rose was outside waiting.  Kanaya and Roxy were a few paces away, Roxy in tears.  “Where is he?”

“Karkat, I—”

“WHERE IS HE, ROSE?!” Karkat screamed.

Rose shook her head solemnly.  “He didn’t make it to the hospital.  I am so sorry.”

Karkat’s knees buckled and he felt the pavement tear at his skin through his khakis, but he didn’t care.  “No,” he whispered, his eyes wide and horrified as they stared at the blacktop beneath him.  “No.”

He heard Roxy choke back a sob nearby, and felt almost angry.  He was the one who had loved him, married him, woken up beside him every day for the last five years.  Why did she get to cry when he couldn’t even find his emotions through the shock?  How was he supposed to go on without Dave?  How had he ever done it in the first place?

There was a hand on his shoulder, lifting him to his feet.  On auto-pilot now, Karkat allowed Kanaya to lead him inside.  She pressed a cup of coffee into his hand, but he didn’t drink it.  She explained to him in her slow, gentle voice what had happened.  They had gone out for lunch, and afterwards Dave had left to go home.  The girls had been a few cars behind him when someone ran a red light and hit Dave’s car directly in the driver’s side door.  He’d been unconscious when the firefighters had extracted him from the car, but he died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.  The other driver was in critical condition, and this above all else, stirred more anger somewhere in Karkat’s chest.  This person had killed the love of Karkat’s life, but kept their own.  It wasn’t fair.  It was the cruelest form of torture imaginable.  To be allowed to love someone and have them taken away without a chance to say goodbye.

Karkat stared at the cup in his hand as Kanaya ended her explanation.  He was vaguely aware of Roxy wrapping him in a hug as she continued crying. 

This cup had such an interesting logo.  Red.  Candy apple red.  The color of hearts and firetrucks and cherry candy and Dave’s favorite shirt.  The color was as familiar as anything, despite the fact Karkat had only known what red looked like for six and a half years.  Since the day he met Dave.  Funny how that was the first color to disappear when he lost him. 

Or maybe it wasn’t funny at all.

* * *

 

The funeral was well attended.  Those who cared about Dave came to say their goodbyes and offer Karkat their condolences.  He only nodded numbly with each “I’m sorry for your loss”, and couldn’t bring himself to do much more.  The minister said a few words, about Dave and how he was in a better place now. 

Then it was Karkat’s turn, and he had no idea what to say.  He hadn’t exactly been in a good state to write a eulogy these last few days.  He’d been avoiding his bedroom like the plague and robotically playing host to the close friends who kept stopping by to check on him.  Everything reminded him of Dave.

“Dave Strider was a fucking prick,” were the first words out of Karkat’s mouth.  It wasn’t a very traditional thing to say at a funeral, but Dave hadn’t been a very traditional guy.  “He hogged the blankets.  He rapped incessantly.  He never chewed with his mouth closed.  He was the single most infuriating being to ever walk the planet.”  Karkat paused, staring intently at the edge of the podium in front of him.  “And I loved him more than anything in this world.”

Karkat sniffled.  He was crying, but who cared?  He was giving a eulogy at his husband’s funeral, he was entitled to some snot crying, damn it.

“Before I met Dave, I used to wonder what it would be like when I met my soulmate.  I used to imagine the world bursting into color, even though I didn’t know what that would look like.  What I got was a pair of sunglasses dropped on my head from a story above me, and a pair of red eyes that pierced through every wall I ever put up to hide behind.  I got the love of my life, and someone to share the wonder of colors with.

“If anyone was wondering, you still see color when your soulmate dies,” Karkat continued.  He makes eye contact with Rose, who is watching him raptly with her violet eyes.  “It’s just a hell of a lot less interesting afterwards.”

Karkat cleared his throat and looked over at the casket, suspended over a six foot hole in the ground.  “I already miss his laugh.  The stupid giggle he had when he amused himself with something he said.  I miss his voice and his eyes and his hand in mine, and part of me wants to forget those things as soon as possible so that it stops hurting… but I know that if I ever do, it’ll hurt that much more. 

“I don’t have anything profound to say about Dave and missing Dave, because I’m still trying to figure out how to live without him.  I don’t know what to do without him at my side.  I just miss him, and if there is an afterlife, I can’t fucking wait to get there and see him again.”

Karkat stepped away from the microphone and toward the casket.  He laid a single red rose on top and pressed his hand against the polished black box.  “I love you.  I’ll never stop loving you.”

The world was no longer in black and white, but color grew dull without someone to share the wonder with.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Why I insist on killing off my own favorite character in my own damn fanfictions is beyond me.


End file.
